


The Man With All The Toys

by AnOddSock



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Canon, BDSM Scene, Balthazar is kinky, Confused Castiel, Impala, Implied Relationships, M/M, Miscommunication, Season/Series 06, Sex Toys, Spanking, Talking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-16
Updated: 2017-12-16
Packaged: 2019-02-15 16:35:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13035126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnOddSock/pseuds/AnOddSock
Summary: Cas meets Balthazar for some advice. Wires get a little crossed. Shenanigans follow.





	The Man With All The Toys

Castiel wasn't sure why he was outside of a brightly lit dining establishment in the middle of the night. He'd asked to meet Balthazar to talk strategy, this was the place Balthazar had beamed into his mind as a good destination. 

The large neon sign spelled out Deny’s.

It was full of people.

Cas made his way to the door and spotted Baz squished into a corner table. He caught his eye and Baz waved enthusiastically, encouraging Cas through the glass doors.

It was warm, stuffily so, inside and the low hum of chatter permeated the room. Cas walked over and sat woodenly at the table with Balthazar, giving the establishment an appraising look.

“Why are we meeting here, I said we should meet somewhere inconspicuous?”

“You can't get more covert than Denny’s at witching hour,” Baz said “No-one ever thinks twice about the shit they over hear when they're here. Everyone ignores everyone else and gets on with their own small world of madness.”

Cas looked around the room again. Sure enough it was full of the entire spectrum of the human experience. 

Three young women in pyjamas huddled over milkshakes while one of then cried.  
Two young parents who were both bleary eyed and half asleep while their toddler sat on the table banging spoons together. A group of teenagers who had commandeered two tables and spread out a large board game across them. And an older gentleman sat by himself reading an old magazine and chewing on the end of an unlit pipe.

Himself and Balthazar hardly looked out of place.

“The sign outside said Deny’s not Denny’s.”

“Must be broken.”

“People are very bad at fixing things that are broken, aren't they.” Cas mused.

Balthazar looked at him and leaned back in his seat. He picked at the plate of food in front of himself, breaking off a piece of bacon and chewing it thoughtfully. 

Somewhere a clock chimed midnight. 

“Are we going to get down to the crux of the reason you called me out here?” Baz asked.

Castiel nodded and straightened himself up in his chair. (Not that he was slouching, he didn't know how to slouch.)

“I need help with Dean,” Cas began

“Ah, trouble at the old homestead?” 

Castiel frowned. He did not own a home. Or a stead.

“I suppose,”

“Well you've certainly come to the right angel, continue!” Baz waved him on.

“It's just,” Cas looked for the right words “he refuses to listen!”

“Mm, can't have the boy getting out of line.”

“I need a way, something, to make him stop and see my side of things.”

“Something to put him back in his place?” 

“Well, that is one way to put it? I wouldn't have worded it like that,” 

“You've got to be firm, show him that you're in charge.” Baz nodded at his own words.

“I'm not really in charge of Dean.” Cas said awkwardly.

“Well maybe that's the problem! Would you like to be?”

“I,” Cas faltered “It's not a matter of being in charge but I do need him on my side.”

“Oh so you switch?”

“Switch what?”

“With Dean.”

“Switch what with Dean?”

Balthazar rolled his eyes. “This is never going to work if you don't even know where your boundary lines are. Really Castiel, it's not rocket science.”

“Why do I feel like we're having two different conversations?” 

“You always feel like that.” Baz said matter of factly. “Come on, I've got some things that might help. I'm sure we can find something you like.”  
He waved down one of the wait staff and engaged her small talk while he counted out the bills for the wild collection of food he’d ordered.

Before they stood up from the table Castiel caught her eye “Your sign outside is broken.”

She looked up at him with raised eyebrows and nodded.

“You should look into getting it fixed.” He told her firmly before leaving.

-

Once they were carefully out of eye sight of the late night food consumers they took flight, disappearing into the air and reappearing in the house Balthazar had commandeered for himself.

Baz led Castiel up the wide stairs to a large black door. He paused before opening it, looking back at Cas with hesitation.  
“You’re fairly vanilla sort of guy, are you sure this is what you want?”

Cas didn’t know how to respond to that, what did the flavourings of a particular plant have to do with anything? So he just nodded.

“Alright then,” Balthazar said jovially as he opened the door “ask about anything you like the look of! I’ve got almost every item humans could come up with in here so you can’t want for variety.”

Cas had been expecting a meeting room, or an office, laid out with strategy plans. Or maybe a home movie theatre where Balthazar would show him clips of human interactions and school him on how best to interact with the people in his life.

He was wrong on both counts. 

Cas found himself in a large walk in closet. Very large. Bigger than some of the motel rooms he’d seen Sam and Dean stay in.

It was brightly lit with black wooden cupboards and draws. Metallic rails and shelves along the walls and an assortment of padded contraptions filling the middle of the floor space.

Cas paused and Balthazar watched him.

Cas squinted and Balthazar sagged slightly.

“Look, just hear me out okay,” Baz said as he moved and began opening up draws and displaying the contents inside. Everything was laid out neatly in small perspex compartments and on small hanging rails.

“You’ve got your usual standard stuff, right,” he gestured to two rows of increasingly large pieces of brightly coloured plastic “dildos, butt plugs, vibrators any shape and size you could wish for,”

He opened another draw and directed Cas’s attention to its contents. “And then some slightly more adventurous stuff, cages, rings, belts and what have you.”

“Lube obviously,” he said as he waved to a cupboard filled with tubes and bottles.

Balthazar walked to the opposite side of the room “And then the kinky stuff too,” he looked a little excited and a little wary, like he wasn’t sure of Cas’s reaction. Cas wasn’t sure of his reaction either.

“Collars,” he ran his hands over a set of nails in the wall where leather and metal loops hung down .

“Harnesses, restraints, any style you like, I’m partial to leather but isn’t everyone really?”

“I… don’t know.” Cas said.

“Well, what do you think? See anything you like?”

Cas didn’t know what he was supposed to like or not like, or what any of this was for. He walked over to the first draw and picked something out, it was pink and large and he pressed the button on the side. It buzzed incessantly in his hand. He looked at it thoughtfully for a few moments.

“What does any of this have to do with communicating better with the Winchesters?” he asked.

Balthazar looked surprised. “You do it with both of them?”  
Cas was about to ask what, exactly, Baz thought he did with both of them but Baz kept going in his tour more quickly than before.

“You know, gags might be a good place to start, get them to listen when they can’t talk back.” He pulled open another draw and Cas saw varying sizes of balls with straps, and pieces of metal suspended between faux leather straps.

“Or maybe some punishing exercises, get Dean to see the error of his ways!” He walked to the back of the room and pulled open a partition screen revealing a set of wide paddles and leather floggers. “There are all manner of ways you can safely immobilise a person and get them out of their head, it’s quite the bonding experience.” Balthazar nodded as he perched on a black metal bench.

“Why,” Cas looked for the right words “Dean and I already share a profound bond, why would we need to bond further?”

“You’ve got to keep working at this stuff Cassie, you can’t expect things to keep going along swimmingly if you don’t spend quality time together.”

“And these things help people spend quality time together?” he asked slowly as he looked around the room again.

“In a way - if the sex is good, exciting good not just pleasing, it helps you figure out how the other person responds to things in the rest of their life . How they communicate, what your common ground is.”

Castiel's mind had gone carefully blank.

“Sex?” he asked doubtfully.

“Yes what did you think we were here to talk about?”

“My, the, how,” Cas looked at the thing vibrating in his hand “this is for sex?” he asked brows rising.

Baz nodded.

“Where does it… human anatomy doesn’t seem designed for most of these things.” Cas said dropping the plastic contraption back into its allotted place.

“You’ve got to be a little inventive.” Balthazar winked at him.

“But Dean and I don’t have sex.”

“You don’t?”

“No! Why would you think,”

“Why would I not think? The way you look at each other, they way you come ask for advice about making things better,” Balthazar looked taken aback and then burst out laughing. “And you just let me go on and on about sex toys and bondage for the last ten minutes!”

“I didn’t know that’s what you were talking about.” Cas intoned back.

“What did you think it was for?” Baz breathed out between hacking laughter.

“I don’t know! I did wonder what any of this had to do with being a better friend and comrade in arms. Or about explaining my current situation in a way that would make sense.”

Balthazar was chuckling to himself as he moved around the room closing all the compartments he'd opened. Castiel stood in the middle of the room feeling dizzy with the possibilities running through his head. He could work out what some of these items were for, he'd seen handcuffs and collars seemed pretty straight forward, the buzzing toys were beginning to makes some sense when he thought about how people copulated. But the rest didn't fit with any information he'd gathered over the millennia. It looked almost torturous.

“All this is really for sex?” he added.

“Yes, there's plenty of adventurous people out there.” 

“But how is it... it seems complicated. Painful even.” 

“The line between pleasure and pain is a thin, silicone covered one.”

Castiel looked wistfully at the draws Baz had said contained gags as his thoughts put two and two together. And suddenly Castiel was trying very hard not to imagine Deans pink lips stretched around one of them.

He ambled over and ran his fingers over them.

He looked up to see Balthazar gazing at him thoughtfully. “I mean it, if you want something take it.”

Cas shook his head.  
“Come on, let's go actually discuss what you came here for then.”

Cas slowly closed the draw, pulling out a large plastic ball at the last second and slipping it into his pocket.

-

Later, when the sun was rising and he'd talked thoroughly with Balthazar, Cas opened his wings and transported himself to the motel Dean had told him they were staying at.

He found it mostly empty, and completely empty of Winchesters. He was prepared to talk to them, to Dean, knew just what he needed to say. Finding them gone was an annoyance.

He spoke to the desk clerk who said he'd seen a black impala leave about twenty minutes earlier. Cas took off down the road in the direction he pointed hoping a walk would clear his already slightly muddling thoughts. 

It seems obvious when talking with Baz but much less so the longer he was away.

He followed down the road until he saw tyre marks pulling off onto a track that lead into the brush. He heard men's voices and saw black metal gleaming through the trees.

They were here!

He hurried along and rounded the treeline to find Sam and Dean in a rather uncompromising position. 

Sam was facing away from Cas, naked from the waist down and bent in half over the hood of Dean's car; his chest pressed against the metal, while Dean stood behind him raising his hand and smacking it down on Sam's bared ass over and over.

Castiel stumbled to a halt as his mind stalled over the scene in front of him. He turned quickly to leave and his shuffling footsteps caught Deans attention.

Dean stepped back quickly and in one fluid motion pulled a gun out of his waistband aiming it in Cas’s direction.

On seeing it was Cas he choked out a laugh and lowered the weapon.

“Cas!” he exclaimed “Bad timing, dude.”

“Cas is here?” Sam all but screeched from his prone position. He twisted his head around, red faced and Cas didn't think he'd ever seen Sam look small before.

“Dean untie me!” he said urgently as he struggled, attempting to pull his arms in towards his body. Which is when Cas noticed the long, thin length of rope tied around each of his wrists, spreading his arms across the top of the car before snaking over the edges and down under the engine. The ropes reappeared from underneath car, wrapped around each of his wide spread knees, before ending in a knot in the grill on the front of the Impala.

Cas felt weak in the knees. What was going on with the world today?

“Sam, he’s seen now what's the point? And your punishment isn't done yet so you can just wait.”

“Dean,” Sam began.

“Hey, did anyone tell you you could talk?”

“Did anyone tell you you're an ass?”

“Tough talk coming from someone strapped to the hood of my car. You'll pay for that later.”

“Promise?” Sam asked with a grin.

Dean turned back to Cas.

“So what’re ya here for Cas?”

“What are you doing?” Cas asked taking a step forward, shoving his hands in his pockets just for somewhere to put them “Do you and Sam?” he trailed off and then asked “Is this sex related?”.  
He was putting the pieces together now with everything he'd seen at Balthazar's.

“Yeah in a way, and yes sometimes we do. It's lonely on the road y'know, and we've got four perfectly good hands and two great mouths. Might as well make use of them.”

“But why right now, out here,”

“Well,” Dean glanced back at his brother who was unsuccessfully trying to hide his face against the top of the car “Gotta do this early in the day before the sun heats up the metal too much.” He shrugged.

“I think I'll come back later then.” Cas said, raising his hands in defeat he took off.

Dean looked at the place Cas had disappeared from for a long moment before spotting a red plastic ball on the ground. He walked across and picked it up, laughing when he realised what it was.

“What now?” Sam groaned. 

“I think Cas brought us a present!”  
Dean waved the ball gag where Sam could see it.  
Sam's eyes grew wide.

“Think you can handle one this big ?” Dean asked with a knowing glint in his eye.

“Right now? You're the one who usually likes that.”

“I'm not the one currently paying up for acting out though am I?” 

“Fine,” Sam sighed “But you owe me for this. Next time Cas is going to find you in an embarrassing scene.”

“Next time?” Dean asked.

“Yes, I'm going to make sure of it.” Sam said before opening his mouth wide for the gag Dean had rubbed mostly clean on the inside of his t-shirt.

**Author's Note:**

> Please direct all compliments on the final scene to [Coconutice22](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Coconutice22/pseuds/Coconutice22) who, when I asked if she wanted to help me a little with this fic just said "tie Sam to the bonnet of the Impala" and who am I to ignore such a suggestion? Never mind that Sam and Dean weren't even going to be in the fic, I added them in for such a wonderful idea!
> 
> Written for [December's Coldest Hits Challenge](https://mayalaen.tumblr.com/post/167881899629/under-the-missile-toe-spncoldesthits-december)
> 
> And so inspired by the Christmas song, The Man With All The Toys by the Beach Boys
> 
>  
> 
> I head-canon that Balthazar is into whatever his partner is into and is unsquickable, thus he's quite a knowledgeable angel.


End file.
